A tribute

.....................................................................................................................................................................

Err… Ahem. I would like to dedicate this blog post to its readers; especially those of you, who really love this blog but are hesitant/ashamed to admit the same. Of course, currently there is no medical therapy available that can cure either hesitancy or shame. Never mind, you can try doing the following things in order to express your unfathomed love for my blog:

(First step that is common to all the methods given below is opening this webpage, obviously.)

· Ensure that no one is around. Take out the earth wire from your PC (to make sure that there is a current leak), and gently kiss the monitor/ screen. Recommended: Do not wear rubber slippers.

· Call a Pundit, get some flowers, garlands, etc and marry your computer. You may/may not consummate your marriage. It’s up to you. Anyway, congratulations.

· Dismantle the screen from the rest of the computer; put it in a gold frame and hang it in your bedroom. Admire it every morning when you get up.

· If you are desperate for some stimulation, try inserting your finger, etc into your PC’s USB slot, memory card slot and other such areas. Do not look for any changes on the screen. There won’t be any. Let me know your experiences later.

· Embrace your computer and stay in that position for at least half an hour so that your abdominal wall is incinerated by the heat. You may/may not wear rubber slippers this time. Do not try this with your buttocks though.

· Sit on the mouse (use an appropriate sized mouse) and admire this webpage. I don’t know why. Just try. It might work.

· Take your PC out on a coffee date. Pour some coffee on the processor and shout: ‘coffee inside’ instead of ‘Intel inside’. You can try pushing in some chocolates as well; some studies consider it to be an aphrodisiac.

· Dress up as a cheerleader. Refresh this page. As soon as the webpage gets completely loaded, start cheering at the top of your lungs. Never mind if that undergarment is sooty.

· Put on very loud music on your PC. Your fat, menopausal, hag like next-door-neighbour should come and whack you hard. I don’t know how this method will help you express your adoration. Some people are known to be masochists.

Psst: If you are still unsatisfied (shit!), simply scribble a comment.

Ha! Now I know what all you have gone through before commenting!

(Due to certain technical difficulties, this blog post has appeared before the cartoon strip. Apologies!)