Welcome to my blog! Hope you enjoy reading it and do feel free to comment.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Goner-speak

....................................................................................................................................................................
The new time-table is out; prelims begin in October. It’s almost mid-June and I haven’t even covered half of surgery, medicine book is brand new; paediatrics is still in infancy and I don’t know a thing in gynaecology.


Meanwhile, as final year is taking its toll, these are some of the documented manifestations/ real-life stories as told by some Gsites themselves. People, medicine is toxic!


Mild Symptoms:

· You think your dog has developed grade IV breathlessness when he pants.


· A passer-by slaps you after you tell him, “Uncle, do you have a hydrocoele or is your pant too tight?


· You apply lacto calamine lotion on your damaged wall.


· You keep condoms next to your bed hoping that the population of bed-bugs will decrease.


· After a hot bath, you exclaim – “Wow! I have been autoclaved!”


· In the morning, you get up and say, “I am conscious, cooperative and well oriented in time, place and person.”


· You think a person with hernia looks ‘cool’.


· Now you know why it is called culex ‘fati’-gans.


· While travelling in the train, you assess nutrition of all your co-passengers.


Major Symptoms: (this one’s dangerous, if you have any of these, here’s wishing you luck!)

· If you are a female, you suddenly get up from your library chair and shout, “Yippee! I just got an LH surge!”


· You ask your milkman whether his cow has developed galactorrhoea and prescribe bromocriptine tablets.


· You stop going to the toilet because it does not conform to the standards laid down by our PSM department.


· You try publishing a paper in New England Journal of Medicine about the usefulness of a pot-hole as an abortifacient.


· You take your pregnant cockroach for an antenatal (ANC) visit.


· You stop standing because you think that you will develop varicose veins, and you stop sitting because that may lead to piles.


· You keep telling people around, “I would like to do a PR (per rectal examination).”


· You feel as if you are a papillary growth/finger-like projection on the surface of the earth and try avulsing yourself.


· Instead of gardening, your latest hobby is culturing bacteria and fungi; you spend time giving them tips on how to infect your competitors.

3 comments:

Modular Form said...

i don't know why it is called fatigans.. i won't speak more abt culex, for it would compromise what remains of my integrity!

Ananya said...

U missed out another major symptom:
-Writing meaningless blogs!

What happened to Os the ostrich?

Sam said...

i completely agree with ananya...
where do you come up with so much of nonsense...
there is just blog after blog of explemlified nonsense. amazing!

keep it up.